Favorite Song of Lifetime

"Growing Up (Sloane's Song)"

(with Ryan Lewis)

(feat. Ed Sheeran)

[Macklemore:]

They say boys don't cry
But your dad has shed a lot of tears
They say I should be a strong man
But baby, I'm still filled with fear
Sometimes I don't know who I am
Sometimes I question why I'm here
I just wanna be a good dad
Will I be? I have no idea

They say girls shouldn't be tough
And moms should raise their kids at home
But baby, I know that that isn't true
'Cause your mama's the toughest person I know
I wanna raise you to be like her
And watch you show the world how to do it on your own
I'm still tryna figure out who I am
I don't wanna mess this up or do this wrong

I'm gonna be there for your first breath
I don't know if I'll be there for your first step
I can promise you that I'll try to work less
But the tour's routed, and I got this album
Put in so many hours, and I just want the outcome
To be something that I can look back and I can be proud of
Don't wanna be a dad that's living in FaceTime
But I've got a world to sing to and you at the same time

I won't spoil you, you can trust that
For your sweet sixteen, you get a bus pass
Had your heart broken? Been there, done that
I love you and I can't give you enough of that
Get back to community that raised you up
Read Langston Hughes, I suggest "A Raisin in the Sun"
Listen to Sam Cooke, a change gon' come
You put the work in, don't worry about the praise, my love
Don't try to change the world, find something that you love
And do it every day
Do that for the rest of your life
And eventually, the world will change

[Ed Sheeran:]
I'll be patient, one more month
You'll wrap your fingers 'round my thumb
Times are changing, I know, but who am I if
I'm the person you become
If I'm still growing up, up, up, up
I'm still growing up, up, up, up
I'm still growing up

[Macklemore:]
I recommend that you read "The Alchemist"
Listen to your teachers, but cheat in calculus
Tell the truth, regardless of the consequence
And every day, give your mama a compliment
Take your girl to the prom
But don't get too drunk hanging out the limo
Slow dance with your woman in your arms
Sneak her in after, but boy, you better tiptoe
Don't wake your mom up, do yoga, learn 'bout karma
Find God, but leave the dogma

The quickest way to happiness?
Learning to be selfless
Ask more questions, talk about yourself less
Study David Bowie, James Baldwin and 2Pac
Watch the sun set with best friends from a rooftop
Wear a helmet - don't be stupid!
Jaywalk, but look before you do it
If it snows, go outside, build a jump, get some help
Get a sled, thrash the hill with your friends, 'til it melts
Go to festivals, camp, fall in love and dance

You're only young once, my loved one, this is your chance
Take risks, 'cause life moves so fast
You're only young once, my loved one, this is your chance

[Ed Sheeran:]
I'll be patient, one more month
You'll wrap your fingers 'round my thumb
Times are changing, I know, but who am I if
I'm the person you become
If I'm still growing up, up, up, up
I'm still growing up, up, up, up

[Ed Sheeran:]
I'll be patient, one more month
You'll wrap your fingers 'round my thumb
Times are changing, I know, but who am I if
I'm the person you become
If I'm still growing up, still growing up, still growing up
If I'm still growing up, still growing up, still growing up

[Ed Sheeran:]
I'm still growing up
I'm still growing up, ooh
I'm still growing up
I'm still growing up

My opinion and how this song affects me:

Macklemore wrote this song for his newly born daughter, Sloane, and this is why he gave it the additional title ‘Sloane’s Song’. What I grasped from the song is that he wasn’t quite ready yet to be a dad. Just like what he writes himself;  I just wanna be a good dad. Will I be? I have no idea. He was still in a journey to find himself, but the world gives him a daughter. I personally adore him like this, the way he told the world openly that he is a grown-up who doesn’t fully grown yet. He told us through the lyrics that he still makes mistakes and even hasn’t found his purpose of life yet.

He put all his heart into this song because he wrote it for his daughter. He told her what to do and what not to do while growing up, and you can directly see that Macklemore only wants his daughter (or son, judging by the lyrics) to be kind and nothing more. As if he wanted to say that being smart, rich, or pretty is not as important as being kind.  

The reason why this song appeals the most to me than any other songs is because I love my father. I listen to the song remembering him. I always think of my father as someone strong because he helps me all the time and never once complain while doing it. To be honest, sometimes I forget that he is also a normal human-being. I forget that he also has his up-and-downs, that he can’t help me every time I have my trouble, and that he can feel sad and even cry. Through this song I learned so much about the struggle of being a father, and this makes me respect my father a lot more.

This song also taught me that people grow up. You may think that adults around you have their problems all figured out, but in fact they don’t. Maybe they still feel confused about themselves, like Macklemore, because they are also growing up like you and me. This song taught me to not be afraid of making mistakes as long as we learn and grow from them.

The letter Macklemore wrote, in addition to his song:

I wish that I could say that I was in a “better place” when I found out the news. It would make for a far more polished and respectable story. But I think back to that night: praying on the floor at 2am as Tricia went to the bathroom to take the pregnancy test I’d just purchased from Walgreens. I was scared. Scared to start working on new music. Scared of trying again and failing. Scared of the process of staring at myself through a page and seeing someone that I wasn’t proud of. Someone that I didn’t like. Someone that wasn’t ready to be a dad.

I’ve always had some make-believe image in my head of who I would be as a father. I held on to clear expectations of where I wanted be in my career, my age, my level of self-care, and my maturity. I basically assumed that I'd have it all together. But in actuality the hypothetical “dad" version of me looked completely different than the man whose heart was beating out of his chest on the carpet, praying to a god or spirit I hadn’t talked to in months. When Tricia walked out of the bathroom, I knew. And I knew I had to change.

5 months later we were recording in a remote cabin away from the density that is Seattle. I was finally having fun in the studio for the first time in years. Songs were getting made, finally. I was going back to the city once a week to attend a birthing class with Tricia. When I got back to the cabin the next day, Ryan had made a new beat that would eventually become the song you’re listening to. Half of it is advice about growing up. The other half is trying to figure out how to grow up myself.

When you try to escape yourself, life has an interesting way of creating situations that force you to come back. To look at who you are. This is why “Growing up” felt like the right song to re-emerge with. It’s where I’ve been the last year, through all the ups and downs. We didn’t want to do a big campaign or anything over the top with this. We just wanted to put out good music, directly to the people that have been here since the beginning. Thank you for your patience. Hope you enjoy.

And if you’re wondering…

Our daughter, Sloane Ava Simone Haggerty was born 2 months ago on May 29th. There is nothing like the joy and happiness that comes from bringing a baby into this universe. She has filled my heart in ways that I never knew were possible. She is the love of my life. This song is for her.

Holiday 2016

Last holiday, which happened until two days ago, felt like a long break after around six months of studying. To be honest it's really hard to write this because I didn't exactly go anywhere for vacation. The two weeks holiday I use mainly for letting some steam off, which means: doze off for half the day, eat junk foods, read novels, watch movies, all repeated. It was an unproductive holiday but it was really nice to finally do nothing in a day.

Logically speaking, of course I didn't spend every single day of my holiday doing nothing. I actually went to some places and did some things.

1. In the first morning of 2017, my family and I went to Rancabuaya Beach in Garut. We didn't expect anything because the holiday season always make tourist places packed up. You know the saying about if someone expect the worst, the good will come to him? Well, that didn't match with our situation. The way to the beach was a long one and not easy to pass. We went past the mountains, and although the scenery was beautiful, I got very nauseous and chose to fall in deep sleep instead.

Arrived at the beach, Dad had trouble finding a spot to park. So, we circle the beach a few times and I know what was in everyone else's mind although they didn't say it. One, the beach was dirty. Seriously, everywhere you see, you'll see empty crushed Coke cans. Two, it was packed of throng. Three, this beach might not be worth the long way we just passed. But anyway, we played around by the beach for sometime (ps, only four of us got into the water because my brother and sister decided to be a wimp and just sat guarding our belongings, which was okay actually). 

After tidying up, we went back into the car. According to our itinerary, we would go to Santolo beach before going home for good. Unfortunately, here came another unfortunate thing. The road was jammed. We stayed in one spot for almost an hour! It was really depressing that we decided to forget the plan to Santolo beach and just go home. But (this was another unfortunate thing) Dad didn't seem to be in good condition to drive home straight away. His legs were weary and his head was dizzy. So, totally out of the blue, we checked in a hotel in Garut. I didn't bring more change with me, so I wear the exact same outfit until the next day when we got home.

2. My twin cousins stayed in our home for a week. They were three years old, a boy and a girl, and they are cute. I always say that I want little sibling, and now I finally got two. There isn't much to tell, because in that week we only played around with each other. I just wanted to write this because they are really cute, and good kids on top of that.

3. I read many new books. I sell some old books of mine to an online shop and got some money in return. I used that money to buy new ones to read for the holiday. Aside from reading books, I also watched many movies. Horror movies, mainly. I watched them with my two sisters at night almost every night of the holiday. Fun fact: one of my sister, Mbak Ra, is easily scared but she was the one who persuaded us to watch the movies. Throughout the scary scene, her body would shake really hard which totally irritated me and got me out of the mood. When the ghosts appeared (you know, that one slight second when the camera closed up at the ghost's face and the sound effect turned up really loud), she would banged her hands everywhere. Some of her punch landed on me, who is unfortunate enough to sit beside her for the whole movie.